Since I'm probably going to abandon my save file due to an unfortunate event, I thought I just post the story of it here. Obviously this will end up in a very extreme wall of text - but if you are interested in such stories feel free to continue reading.
​
​

1.0. The Preparation

​
Last year in august I was planning on playing Elona(+) again, since it was around 9 years ago when I played vanilla Elona on its latest stable version. In 2010 I never made it far into the game, I wasn't even close to anywhere to 3 digit stats - but I was able to at least survive basic stuff and advanced very slowly until I stopped playing at some point. What I do not like if you can things permanently mess up which was one of the reasons I decided to play Elona+ instead of Elona this time as it appears Elona+ tries to avoid/reduce such things. I always went out without any pets 9 years ago as I think they pretty immediately died for me - and so I went on another petless journey again. My choice fell on an Eulderna Warmage since at the time I created the character it seemed to be the best choice for me with the extra magic resistance while not having any specific disadvantages. As feats I choosed some resistances and Exorcist to nullify being cursed on dreams as I remember 9 years ago on vanilla Elona this was a significant threat to me (however, now I would not choose this feat anymore since cursing items later in the game can be quite important - I wished this feat would just add a toggle special action like Dupli-Cane and Advanced Casting so you could enabled/disable this at any time).
​
​

1.1. The Beginnings

​
I started the game pretty casually on Essential Mode (I would have preferred a harder mode but I dislike loosing life/mana when the game/system crashes by accident) with the intention not to savescum. I was entering the wilderness around my house to improve my stats until I could survive basic enemies like a kobold. My playstyle mostly reflects of going melee-only and I'm not sure why I choosed a Warmage at this time - possibly I have read before that magic is pretty strong and decided to give it a try later - but I don't fully remember. I was exited about simple stuff like identifying things to permanently unlock their basic selling values to make more money. After around 1-2 hours it was time for looting the Puppy Cave to make more money and progress even further. I tried to improve my gear by getting some resistances and preferring glass gear for more speed. At some point I entered a pretty low danger level dungeon which was at this time pretty high for me. At the end was a level 8 or 9 Grudge which I don't remember anymore if I defeated him or not - but slowly I begun to get stronger. Progressing on this low level went a while while I was also using the Wiki on Fandom all the time to check all the details for the game mechanics out. At some point later I also gave magic a try. Seeing how the damage of a magic dart increased quite fast with its dices and damage value I thought at this time that magic is pretty overpowered and will easily outclass any melee.
​
​

1.2. The first accident

​
After some casual playing I achieved significant progress when I got enough medals to buy some artifacts in Miral and Garok's Workshop. With the I was able to do moderate amounts of damage (around ~200 at this time) and with the I had no issues with upcomming invisible creatures. Ironically I still had both items around the 800+ hours mark, since artifact items are usually pretty strong (especially in this game) even compared to random godly items and over the course of time you usually rarely progress with new random equipment in this game. At the end I was able to blast even level 50000+ monsters away with moderate ease which are all capped with all stats at 2000 - but more to my endgame build and what I all did later in this post. The next step was to progress with the story so I went for the 3 magic stones. When I approached Wynan on his chessboard he crushed 1 or 2 walls which stressed me out (which also happened later on some other locations) since on trying to fix this later it turned out this is not possible - as placing wall tiles with the Wall Creation spell or removing them to fix floor tiles will always result in a default wall/floor tile - making it impossible to create specific ones as I really wanted to preserve all the static areas in the game. I was a bit sad about it and hoped that in the future there would be a way to fix this - like a way to choose which wall/floor tiles to place; a janitor set that allows you to actually also design some static areas at some point; or some other solution. My savefile was now slighly messed up and I just continued - always hoping that I can just fix all messed up floors in the future but also knowing that this is extremely unlikely to happen.
​
​

1.3. Careful grinding

​
Meanwhile I also grinded for more Little Sisters and got more Hero Cheese to improve survivability - which was a slight mistake at this point since I was still in act 1 (as I planned later to add additional body parts). Farming for Little Sisters was quite a serious task too since I wanted to avoid killing a single one to avoid reducing the spawn rate of Big Daddies. As far as I know this is another thing where you can permanently mess your save file up if you make a mistake so initially I did always fully clear a floor before approaching a Big Daddy and then even walling him in with enough distance to avoid him smashing the walls as enemies can still spawn randomly if enough turns pass - eventually an enemy would have appeared otherwise exactly in the turn when the Little Sister spawns just to kill her and mess my save file up (when I was much stronger I did not wall them in anymore and from the ~350 Little Sisters that spawned not a single one died during my whole playtime). When I also progressed more in the story and met Alsapia in Lesimas floor 30 I think I had around 300 hit points but still died on my first try against her. The neverending progression just continued until I was strong enough to finish act 1. But before defeating Zeome I also wanted to finish some side quests which lead to an interetsing experience. Ungaga in the Minotaur's Nest did land a critical hit on me with his first strike, probably with a very high roll and I lost around 700 hit points and died. He never did any damage this close to me again on my future attempt so I guess I was just extremely unlucky here.
​
​

1.4. The museum and its difficulties

​
One thing until this point that bothered me a bit was the museum. I wanted to collect all cards and statues to show them in my museum but anyone who tried to seriously fill a museum probably knows the troubles. There is not enough space to place them all even if you extend the default floor and additional floors can't be created. Also there is no sane way to track which statues/cards you already have in your museum so I decided to just collect the statues/cards from unique NPC's and very later on I even begun to remove some cards as space still became very limited (if you want to make your museum look halfway good and not to fill every single possible tile). At the end this is good enough to reach rank 1 and get all the points to get more platinum coins but I think this is something that could get enhanced. Especially since adding support for multiple floors and linking them to the ranking is not difficult.
​
​

2.0. Getting strong

​
One of my goals was to get new body parts as fast as possible from doctor Gavela as I wanted to avoid loosing more life as neccessary from early farmed Hero Cheese (I think I only lost 1 extra life due to this but it was still a bit annoying). I got 2 additional hands and my setup (either it was a sword and shield or already dual-wielding) changed to quad-wielding with a living weapon (lightsabre), , and . I think at this time I did roughly around 1000 damage per hit - which didn't progress too significantly for me anymore over the course of the next few hundred hours. Also I did experiment with my living weapon a bit and did reset it a few times at Maile - but was a bit annoyed that instead of being a reset for its level/gained attributes instead all attributes that were even before leveling it up got deleted too (e.g. if you get a living weapon with a good invoke and want to reset its level the invoke will be gone forever). At least the attributes from the material kit could have been kept as for example in my case the lightning resistance from being a diamond lightsabre got deleted too - while it was still made of diamond after resetting. Reapplying another material kit (even if the same) fixes this issue but it still feels a bit annoying. One thing that I got curious later on was why all enemies got in some cases just 1 damage no matter what. It turned out that the chain intervalls the weapons do are actually a nerf for cases when enemies can't do something on too many turns of the player (like perma-stunning them and stopping the time too often). Once it reaches 200 all enemies are getting just 1 damage from any source - limiting the combination of dual-wielding and time-stopping (this is also one reason why you want to avoid spreading too much different damage types on weapons as every damage type counts as its own attack and adds 1 to the chain interval - making the enemies just faster resistant to your damage). At the end I went full darkness damage on my living weapon since it seems the most useful - it mostly prevents any physical and magical threats, is very easy to apply to any regular enemy that is not immune to blindness or has innate superb resistance to darkness (even capped out enemies), according to the wiki sticks usually a bit longer than confusion from mind or sound damage (and confusion has the disadvantage that enemies could spawn other enemies if they fail to cast a spell) and does not stunlock the enemy to avoid high chain intervalls.
​
​

2.1. Common work

​
Nothing too spectacular happened from here except casual grinding and when blewing up Palmia for the side-quest I forgot to check for other adventures - and of course pissed some of. I was now curious if they would ever come to my home and trying to burn it but this did never happen. Meanwhile I had a ranch with a fairy to get more Secret Experiences of Kumiromi - which did net me the one and other a few times during my gameplay. If I would have found them as often as Happy Beds dropped for me I would have possibly already nearly capped out all my feats - those beds really dropped like biscuits for me. I also had a shop and did put all the cooked food I got from killed enemies there. I also did sell miracle and godly equipment there that I found but had no use for it. Since I played this game casually and in a more or less RPG-like manner Isca was the shopkeeper. I also intentionally wasted a rod of wishing to give her the negotiation skill as I had not much interest to dig into gene engineering yet. As shop feats I choosed Asthetic Sense to get more money and Proprietary Sales to get even more money. I still assume the latter is responsible for a display bug: Every time the day ends and the summary is shown the first message is partially duplicated with some nonsense. It sorts of depends of the last tiles you have somehow encountered - but I do not know the exact details. It is kind of funny when the message claims Isca has put Palmia into my shop storage^^
Also I had a farm with nothing spectacular in it. Mainly I did put fruit trees in there that I sto... borrowed. I also had a bigger tree farm in my house which I used to produce juice so I had not to go to Noyel anymore every once in a while to farm some snow.
​
​

2.2. Making money

​
My Win-LVL increased while I played more - without knowing what this actually meant. Later on I figured out the number there (in the current version of Elona+ shown as "Proper" in your character sheet) is just the highest level of a dungeon boss you killed. It seems to affect the danger level of newly generated dungeons and quests. Additionaly the highest danger level you entered/cleared or such seems to also affect this (and can be reset at Maile while the first can't). I got into the ranges of level 150-200 dungeons and things begun to get harder. And some point (possibly a bit earlier or maybe even shortly after act 2 - I don't remember exactly when) I noticed all enemies have now a gauge bar. I had around 3000 hit points and a Flash Wyvern could remove half of them when its gauge bar got full. Also the god enemies like Atlas begun to show up. I remember that I killed an early one with several magic darts from the distance but it was still pretty dangerous. However, at this point I got quite some extra money as the gold piles are in the 5 digit ranges here. Later I noticed that it seems to cap at 50000 and even much higher dungeons seem on average to yield even less money. It sort of felt like the money values are sort of overflowing and thus lowering the average a bit until some even more higher danger levels again. If I was wrong or what exactly was going on here is still unknown to me. But with the extra money and the sold cooked food I was able to increase my Investment skill more and more - as it levels pretty fast. It was also my first skill that reached level 2000 and thus requiring me only a bit over 50000 gold to invest 50 more ranks on a shopkeeper. At the end of my gameplay my blackmarket shopkeeper is now rank 66000 - but it feels not better than like rank 5000. Either the improvement is here extremely slow, maybe with diminishing returns or I did already hit the softcap and there is no point in investing here anymore.
​
​

2.3. The AP-system

​
One thing I was already concerned when I was still in act 1 and that influenced my gameplay heavily was the AP mechanic as I think it can sort of mess up your save file too. Currently after 966 hours my AP are 2500 (8500) which is the highest minimum value for my build when you buy only the skills and prepare to swap to any skill without wanting to increase your AP further. If I would have gone for additional speed/life my AP value would now be even higher - while I can achieve those values even without investing the AP. This has the theoretical advantage that I'm as best as possible prepared if updates of Elona+ add stuff to the AP mechanic. Players who instead capped out their AP wouldn't be able to get any more of them and potentially locking out from new stuff and thus messing up their save file. Also the AP system favors to save your Speed Upper potions/Hermes Blood, etc. ideally after you have capped out the related stats with AP which I also disliked. I think a better approach to this part of the AP system would be to not bind the stat increases to the base stats - but instead applying them as an invisible buff. This way it would solve the problems above (but also result in a bit higher stats on endgame builds). It probably sounds stupid to many who read this - but whatever, I just progress without the stat increases and the journey continued.
​
​

2.4. Rejected from some gods

​
Additionally I also went every year to the Truce Ground and temporarily worshipped another god to make them spawn in november and getting the specific training-related artifact. Unfortunately there is a bug that prevented me to do this a few times. Even having more than just enough favor and praying at the Truce Ground resulted in around half of all cases the related god to not appear. I don't know what exactly causes this issue but my guess is that switching to a god too late might have an impact on this issue. Also I remember that I have seen another user here in the past that has claimed about this issue. I guess it is just rare and since the exact conditions are unknown I expect it not to be fixed soon - if at any point at all. My current approach was to not switch to a god later than september and so far my last summoning in november was successfull but I would have to test this further.
​
​

2.5. Improving my gear

​
Via the course of this grinding I also improved my gear. While randomly generated equipment very rarely improved my current equipment and too often even very early artifacts were very superior, all my equipment was hardened to +10 via a blacksmith and to +15 via stardusts. The new improvement was reforging their type and applying a more effective material kit on them. Since I wanted to balance stuff out most of my armor got a Dragon Scale material kit as it has a good improvement to DV and PV while also providing fire and cold resistance which is quite important to avoid item destruction in tricky cases ( I always carry a fireproof and coldproof blanket with me just in case. Too bad filling charges seems to be limited (even accross other items I think) to lower values than you can potentially buy (13 charges in case of blankets). Maybe it would be better if the cap of filling charges would be dependent on your Magic Device level - this would also make this skill a bit more useful. Also: Needs coldproof liquids!).
​
​

3.0. Becomming healthy

​
I finished act 2 at some point and got to a point where I noticed a significant EXP increase from enemies (panic/challenge quests; dungeon bosses; enemies in the Void floor 200+). For example a random spider in the Void floor 200+ gave me around 4 million EXP per kill. Since the EXP cap for levels is 100 million and every level gave me some hit points (in newer versions of Elona+ I now get hit points only every 4 levels - but around 4 times higher than before). My stats slowly crawled up - I think to around 300 - 400 on all main stats, ~100+ on most skills mostly due to travelling except the 2000 in Investment and some hundred levels in Lockpicking since I noticed troubles opening all those chests, safes and treasure balls on higher danger levels. However, the contents never seemed to get any better anymore despite requiring a more and more higher Lockpicking skill. I remember having seen the Skeleton Key once in the log after casting Oracle but unfortunately it was generated in the Void and the floor was already gone for a while. In all those 966 hours sadly I have never seen another generated Skeleton Key anymore (but tons of s - which unfortunately have no effect on Dimension Fishing - while it does even increase the Fishing skill, argh!). Much earlier I planned to keep all my spells up with my chacacter level - but stopped this approach on level 115. My main skills I used at this time (Magic Dart, Cure of Eris or Jua, Speed, Attribution Shield, Feather, Holy Shield, Holy Veil, Vanquish Hex), were around level 200+ - 300+. Too bad some spells do not increase with higher levels (except the spell stock cost reduction up to level 300) while still increasing in mana points. For example my Magic Map spell (on hour 966 with level 623) has never improved in revealing the map more with a single cast. I continued to farm some more levels to get more hit points and to get some more stat increases from some Ether Diseases I currently intentionally had (like hooves and feathers for more speed). My hit points reached values around 15000 - 30000 and my speed got around to a buffed value of 1100+ and my Win-LVL was around 1000.
​
​

3.1. A laboratory for all your plushies

​
From this point nothing too spectacular happened anymore. I slowly advanced in the Void, farmed Little Sisters and also fame in dungeons to make panic/challenge quests more worth, I did party time quests to get Music Tickets as well as hopefully finding a godly Casino Table and Pachisuro Machine. Also I advanced Leold's side quest in killing higher level monsters for even more music tickets and invested them into Hero Cheese for even more hit points. I also slowly killed more and more unique NPC's to get their statues for my museum. At some point I got tired power leveling my spells after I slept enough times so I decided to make my life a bit easier. I designed my dungeon to be a laboratory with cells for different types of enemies. One of the cells contains 2 Meshera Deltas, which do cast Silence on me all the time from their cell while I'm outside and out of their pyhsical reach. That process speeds up spell leveling very much as there are now no spell animations anymore. A bit earlier when I tried to get some Asuras in a cell I noticed later they were all gone. To solve the issue with depsawning monsters I just sandbaged them and only release them when I need them for training (and sandbag them again once I'm done).
​
​

3.2. Facing Death's aspirant

​
After this the progression went pretty fast. Mainly because I actually invested now platinum coins to train offensive skills (mainly Tactics, Dual Wield, Eye of Mind and Long Sword) to get much higher than the ~150+ skill levels they had. I also got additional levels from killing monsters - usually now 12 million - 13 million EXP per kill resulting in more hit points and some Hero Cheese from music tickets for even more hit points again. Around that time I also leveled 5 living weapons to level 10 with applying strength to them so I could temporary buff my strength to 1000+ as I wanted to get 1 of every altar in my home. Slowly my offensive skills evolved and I had around 60000 - 70000 hit points. Around this time I tried to kill Amurdad to get the as I planned to advance some stats later with a farm full of herbs. My first try on killing Amurdad resulted in that I could not get past his Super Regene healing and he drained my stamina up to a point where he could easily kill me. The grinding continued and my stats got higher, up to around 300+ - 400+ in said offensive skills and 150000+ hit points. That was sufficient enough to finally beat Amurdad to get the scissors. Now I have a farm with a Statue of Kumiromi, 72 planted herbs and 8 Kumiromi's Gem Stone of Rejuvenation. At this point Quad-Wielding with time-stopping felt very lacking as I had usually very high chain intervalls, too often now over 200 forcing me to wait a few turns. Since at this point I pretty much studied most of the Wiki on Fandom I wanted to try something else. The idea was 3 living weapons (all lightsabres (I think 1 was reforged) since living weapons at this stage of gameplay are pretty common) while leveling the first 2 lightsabres with nether damage up to level 10 and the last one to darkness damage up to level 10 and a shield for more defense. I also made the 2 lightsabres with nether damage super heavy (250s each) to cap out the critical damage even if the enemies wear heavy equipment. This turned out to be super useful as I did around 10000 - 15000 nether damage on most enemies per hit per sword which also healed me for this amount - around half the amount my Cure of Jua spell heals. A bit later I had also buffed around 1300 PV but the enemies still hit for 15000 - 30000 damage. I advanced my equipment to have a bit higher magic resistance and spellcasters barely were a threat now with the few thousand damage they did. The exception are water spells as they ignore any resistances causing also to do around 15000 - 30000 damage per hit. However, protecting against spellcasters was much more easy than protecting against physical attacks (mainly due to bosses you barely can blind). But I also had not actively trained Evasion yet - I planned this once I have more sandbags for Asuras.
​
​

3.3. The Escalation

​
Then the update happened that brought a cap of 100 to platinum coins and skill/spell points. Since I had accumulated over 3000 skill and spell points I waited for a specific training day and used Advanced Casting and then burned all my points into Swimming and... Wishing! Now with an equipped magaqua (as I never used one before as I wanted to train Swimming over time) and a Swimming skill quite over 1000 I achieved a buffed speed of around 2000 (while still having ~600 base speed). With my Gamma Shift Core I wished earlier for it is even around 2500 speed. My Traveling skill is only around 200 but this together makes me fast enough that it is not too hard capping out skill and spell points in a single ingame day - which is quite tricky since I want to use them only if I'm on a specific day to optimally boost my skills which requires me often to skip some days. At this point I wish I could just use the over 1000 Small Medals I have to just upgrade my "Magic Bag" to fit in more skill and spell points and platinum coins as at this stage of gameplay it is sort of required to play effectively. I got stronger and stronger and the enemies began to cap out their stats slowly at 2000. Every few enemies I have killed achieved the next goal of Leold's side quest and switching continents all the time, going to Leold, teleporting to the Craddle of Chaos, reading a Scroll of Escape and switching continents again was quite annoying. If doctor Gavela could borrow Leold and me just a Mobile Communication Equipment with integrated fax - then Leold could just fax me those Music Tickets every time I advance in the quest!^^
Since capped out enemies were less and less a threat I begun to beat higher dungeon bosses and getting a higher Win-LVL until I noticed bosses won't go here over level 8332. But there seem to be some exceptions. Once a Shade generated as dungeon boss and it was only level 6666 (I think it was not even generated as boss type) and at some point I got unnoticed a Win-LVL of 11110. I guess there is an exception that generates something at level 11110 - maybe it was the Putit Tank I encountered but I don't know. After this point the danger levels incremented about several thousands once I did beat a new higher one. Currently the highest danger levels I see are a bit over 100000. The mechanics in them are also quite interesting: It seems hidden passages (blocked by wall tiles) still scale in this high levels. When I just use 1 skill point to bring my Detection skill from 0% potential to 20% potential I get 20 levels at once (and 0% potential again) with one revealed hidden path. No matter how many more potential I put into (even 400%) I never get more than 20 levels at once - I guess this is the cap how many skill levels in general you can get at once. Luckily revealing a hidden path is still easy with 1000+ Detection on those high danger levels so it is not much of an issue. But my 100+ Disarm Trap skill has basically no effect anymore and so I trigger every trap I step on. Also opening up chests/safes/treasure balls with 1200+ Lock Picking results most in the time that the lock is beyond my skill. Too bad the loot in those containers seems to have already capped out around danger levels of 100+ and they are not more worth later on (but still much more difficult to open). I fear if danger levels have no cap and continue to grow exponentially I will see at some point a crash every time a dungeon with a too high danger level is being generated. Nice side-effects are that the gained fame is based on the danger level and your current fame causing me to get easily over 20000 fame per cleared dungeon (I'm currently around 700000 fame) and the panic/challenge quests cause now to generate monster levels around the danger levels I see resulting in getting over 60 million EXP per kill (I think I'm on the cap of 640000080 EXP).
​
​

3.4. An unfortunate event

​
However, today something bad happened. When I was creating some Cure Crystals on the Pot for Fusion to easily remove single Ether Diseases (since I want to keep some other) I did create 3 * 10 of them. This resulted in 30 Cure Crystals but only 19 Empty Bottles instead of the expected 30. Later I noticed that sadly some items in my house were gone. So I did hit the cap of 400 items and the creation of new items has caused a deletion. I actually thought the cap of 400 items is a soft cap and specific game mechanics can go temporary over them without causing troubles - I guess I was wrong. Too bad that actual item deletion this way is possible - and that the Cure Crystals and Empty Bottles have not been stacked. Initially I planned to stop continuing playing my save file due to this accident and just writing the story of my playthrough somewhere in hope it improves stuff (ideally this would reach out to Ano somehow but I doubt it). But on making a second look it looks like there is a specific pattern to the item deletion. All items that I confirm being gone had a very low base value and the important stuff seems to be still there. I just hope the stack of my current 114 artifact equipments has not been affected as checking and recovering them could be quite some work.
​
​
​

Future plans

​
Thats pretty much the story. I have a few plans what to do next once I should find the motivation to continue. One thing I noticed is that Yacatect's Banks are not a global storage - they are local on their own. And since it seems you get 10% interest after every 2400 hours the amount of gold would escalate at some point (up to the cap). It seems they are an easy way to get nearly an endless source of money if you setup your own terra-cotta armee with them. I'm also trying to figure out a way to mitigate Brainwashing as this is still a very significant threat. My hope is that enough mind resistance would make you immune against it. Another thing I experiemented with is trying out cursed equipment as an alternative but one piece causes already a huge health loss every few turns. Also I'm curious if enough magic resistance can make you immune to any hex from enemies with 2000+ casting. To test some of this stuff I probably would have to dig more into the artifact fusion system. I think if a randomly found item (like a godly one) has too many and too strong stats it counts more towards the artifact power - making it ironically more difficult to apply the wanted attributes later on it. This might be a reason why Ehekatls passive feat you can obtain might be counter-productive here and possibly needs another toggle. Also if my Casting/Literacy/Memorization skill is high enough I would consider reading some/all of my wishing spell books that I found and kept during the entire playthrough (I found 5 but read (and failed) 1 by accident when I spammed reading on all common books I found) to summon all gods and killing them. I also wanted to figure out if all the ...borrowed Holy Wells could be useful in the future too since it seems they still regenerate their charges. At least they are useful ranking up at the Thieves Guild really fast (with a sell value of over 60000). Werewolves are quite a problem too and I'm not sure if some towns just bugged out. Even killing all werewolves I found and duelling all werewolve detectives caused them to respawn (I have some towns with 2 detectives). I'm unsure how to fix this but my current plan was getting more s from going deeper into the Void (as duelling in Amur-Cage never dropped any more s for me) and then checking every person if they are still a werewolf.
​
​

Progress on hour 966

​
At the end I'm now on level 1121 with ~350000 HP and ~150000 MP. My main stats are around 600+ - 700+ with speed buffed to 2000+. The offensive skills like Tactics, Long Sword, etc. are around 500 - 800 and my current damage multiplier for every of my lightsabres is 71.5. Some stats posted earlier and the order of the story might be slightly inaccurate since this happened all over the course of a year and my memory is not perfect but mostly it should be pretty fine.
​
​

Some suggestions

​
The only thing I could list now would be a few things I would like to get enhanced in this game:
​
- Obviously the item deletion issue that eventually caused me to delete my save file.
- A way to better fix static areas as mentioned earlier above.
- Other fixes to prevent messing up a save file, partially mentioned above too. Additionally for example if you kill all Old humankinds there seems to be no way to get them later. I'm also unsure where to recruit a if both in Rehmido have been destroyed.
- I/O performance improvements. The overhead seems to be very high and is noticeable especially on a HDD. Examples of issues are frequent opening of menus (like opening gambling chests) and the Appearance selection menu.
- Fixing the broken viewport (that on some resolutions some columns/rows can't be (partially) seen). For me if an enemy is on the top row I can't see him including his important gauge bar - which is quite an issue.
- Better view on enemy bars. If they are behind a wall the gauge bar is not visible anymore which is also a big issue.
- Support for user paths. It would be nice if the configuration file and save files would be saved into the user directory so upgrading the game would be possible in a more uncomplicated way.
- Translations.
- Fixing items not being liftable if your inventory is full even if the exact same item is in your inventory (e.g. you have an unidentified Scroll of Curse in all 3 variants in your inventory (blessed, normal, cursed) but you can't now pickup any other unidentified Scroll of Curse you find on the ground).
- Better stacking support of items. For example catching Stray Cats with Monster Balls of different levels will prevent them being stackable (while the Monster Ball levels apparently play no role anymore). Items from vendors with different selling prices can't be stacked too since the price is determined due to the different base value. In this case it would be better if those items would have the same base value and instead get a (higher) buying multiplier directly from the vendor (even while this would have the disadvatage of lower (the normal ones) selling values of those items). The same material kits you get from Garok can't be stacked too for some reason (even if the color is reverted to the default with a bottle of dye #0). Debris of the same level can't be always stacked too as they generate with different colors (but applying a bottle of dye #0 can workaround this in that case). Also when Monster Balls capped out at level 200 in the past it was easy to stack them for example for catching all the Stray Cats and enemies Arasiel wants. Now it is harder to get Monster Balls of the same level for easy stacking.
- A way to easily reduce stats even more (the might not be good enough anymore if you reach 2000 Traveling). Eventually it might make sense if you could somehow get negative stats too via the artifact fusion system (for example if the Scroll of Gain Attribute is cursed).
- Immediate sprite update once you get brainwashed.
- Stopping spammed idle actions (numpad 5) when you receive damage (like starving). In some other cases the game already stops some spammed actions so it would be more consistent.
- If all windows would behave like Stained Glass Windows requiring you to put them into the wall tile instead. This would allow you to put 3 instead of only 2 items before the window before they turn into a bag and also it would avoid hovering the items up.
- Fixing the bug that item sprites sometimes change temporary if you talk to somebody (e.g. a pile of items from a past quest reward sometimes turns into a bag when you talk to somebody and reverts back when you stop talking to somebody).
- Named fruit trees so they are more easily distinguishable.
- All the other things already mentioned in the story.
​
​
There is probably so much more that I don't remember now but those should be the most important things I would like to get fixed/changed. But as sayed somewhere before: I doubt this will happen but at least I gave it a try and posted all my experiences with the game even if this post required quite many hours to create and check (I think around 6+ and now I'm tired, hopefully I did not miss too many gramatical spelling errors and typos).
​
Edit: Fixed some typos and added headings for easier reading.

Disclaimer: This is likely going to be the most boring section but year 3 is where it starts to get good (which I can make it more humorous) and I will type it up while I play tomorrow. But as long as interest in these threads is here I will invest the time in making them. A couple comments in the first one said it was nostalgic, which I agree, its kind of why I am even writing these. These were the actual good days of poker before government decided to fuck it up for everyone, poker is a shell of what it used to be and it will never return to its glory days without government fucking off. There is no entry point for new players these days, there are no advertisements on ESPN, no play money hustles or low stakes games online full of fish (now full of bots or bot like regs) or mega field mtts for people to get excited about. Also processing power has grown so much that problem solvers are becoming prevalent in decent stakes games. Jump online and play some NLH, it is insanely unfriendly to anyone playing less than perfect (plo is the only way to play online now, lets make it bigger than NLH!). Your every leak will be exploited. Its just not going to come back. (No one tell me bovada is soft either, fuck the anonymous stuff, 4$ rake no rewards system, they deserve no business, globalpoker is the only one worse) Also worth noting every single event I cover is real. The only thing that can be false is dialogue (for humor usually) and potentially altered hand histories due to lapsed memory.
Oh and since I bashed two online sites I will plug one. Coinpoker.com - learn how to use crypto and join up. The software is solid, traffic a bit slow for USA time zones but its growing a bit. I have no affiliation aside from playing there and would enjoy more traffic in USA peak hours.
Year 2
I am now a 20 year old gun slinger in the wild West of online poker. I am grinding sit n gos and mtts and cash games. I am a jack of all trades, and a master of all games. I am playing plo stud8 nlh it didnt matter, I just wanted to learn every game. I was a genuine student of poker, it consumed my brain at all times. I wake up at noon to slide into my chair and start grinding, still living at home with my dad in my ear telling me to get a job because “there is no future to gambling” to which I retort “you got it wrong pops, its actually no gamble no future, and I am gonna gamble for mine”.
I am in the backwoods of Oklahoma. I have no clue when high speed internet was invented but I sure as hell didnt have it in 2006. I was still using dialup as it was the only option available. I grind a lot of mtts and sitngos, and when Poker Stars releases a small patch or update I always paid the piper. I would leave the website open 24/7 so disconnects often would leave me screaming at my computer banging my head as updates downloaded for 5-20 minutes usually. Often I would be ITM in an mtt or holding AA/KK somewhere praying to the poker gods that everyone else disconnected and was feeling my struggles as well.
Nevertheless I am becoming a winning player. I have erratic account balances ranging from 300-1000$ while I play $1-10$ mtts (and occasionally jumping into a 20$+) and cash games at 10nl/plo mostly. I dont exactly recall the tourney that allowed me to cash out $3,000 off of Poker Stars, but it happened at some point that year. I remember the day it came in the mail pretty well. I got in my piece of shit 1998 Ford F150 (that I drove from age 17 to 23ish until I gave it to a friend who had his car stolen, it finally collapsed at 310k miles, I abused that truck, it literally had so many original parts on it, including the spark plugs amazingly) and drove into town head held high with my prize sitting on my lap. I couldnt wait to get to the bank so they could ask me where I got all this money from (which is ironic because a year later you had to lie if you wanted to retain your bank account). In my mind, as a 20 year old who has never even held 1000$ of my own money before it felt like I was going to be cashing the biggest check they would see all week.
I arrive at a Bank of Oklahoma, walk in and head to an open teller. She was an elderly lady probably in her 60s. I hand her the check and give her my account info and she starts punching away on her computer. She asks me how I want it, and with a smug grin on my face I say “in cash”. She gives me a blank stare then reaches into her drawer and pulls out a stack of $100 bills. This was the moment I had lived for, this was the moment my year plus of sitting in a basement ostracized from society grinding it out on my leather ass was for. She leans in to start counting out $3,000 and time is moving so slow for me. My bottom lip is literally shaking watching her count this massive sum of fiat, it was at the time the greatest moment of my life (over losing virginity, over the first time feeling the euphoria of MDMA, over anything). It felt so fulfilling. Pixelated cash turned to physical cash and I was on my way. Making the hour drive to the city to buy some cocaine and hang out with friends.
Short version of the weeks that followed that event, cocaine and home games for pennies. The money ran dry and my nose wore raw. The cocaine was rarely good obviously but thats to be expected in 2006 and in the Midwest.
Towards the end of the year I am going to a friends house to play after a weekend of partying and poker. We played at the casino the night before and have had little to no sleep in two days. Hes not a well seasoned super pro who has cashed a $3,000 check like me but he dabbles a bit. Its Sunday and were gonna grind a few tourneys, one in particular was a freeroll for anyone who earned X amount of FPPs over a set period of time. Everyone who makes final table gets a $12,000 package to main event. So we saddle up and jump into this (if my memory serves me correctly) 26,000~ player field. Luckily it had a good structure with plenty of play, 5 minute levels was going to allow my sharpened skills to shine. Laptops out, chargers plugged into a power supply we were underway. We felt like Louis and Clark setting out to traverse the western USA. We were gonna chart our maps on our way through this large field and claim our prize. We rarely say a word to each other through the first hour, were dog ass tired from the partying and high stakes 1-2nl at the casino the night before.
I bust my entry in the second hour, humiliated by the poker gods I look over at my friend in disgrace to let him know he is on his own, only to see him fast asleep sitting out at his table. I grab his laptop and feel my heart thud and my jugular swell as I have been revitalized having a second chance at this tourney, so long as he doesnt wake up.
I quietly accrue chips, soul reading my digital opponents and swiping their blinds. An hour passes I am still alive. Another hour and I am full thrive. Another hour and it seems I wont be deprived. We get down to 1000 then 500 then 100 people left standing. I awake my friend to show him what I have done, much to his surprise. He was excited but knew that I was the captain of his ship now. He fell asleep at the helm, so his ship now belonged to me.
Now to the hands I remember pretty well.
Two tables left. Not a ton of play but I am one of the bigger stacks. 15ish left and I am in the blinds with 66 when some asshat rips from the cutoff. It will cost me 3/4 of my stack (tbh I cant remember how many bb, it had to be 6-10 I would think, a 5 minute level turbo with 26k people back in 06? Had to be shallow) but I nut up and call.
My 66 is ahead of his QT but he finds a way to win. Now I am on deaths throes seeing this 12k package slip out of my grasp.
Aside from a pivotal pot that I won with K9o (ripping shallow) I remember no other hands but I assure you no one was all in or had someone all in more than I did at those final two tables. It tailed off with me comfortably sliding in from 11~ left to 9. I remember agonizing so many all ins, laughing when I won and yelling FUCK!! when I lost. More highs and lows over that 20-30 minutes than I had ever thought possible, and wouldnt feel again for a year or two. This 12k score was by far my biggest to date. We fist bumped and despite having no sleep we went out drinking and playing 1-2 like a couple of punk 21 year olds that we were. Kind of a side note but I have had many threats to me at a poker table, I am a bit mouthy (in the name of humor, but the humorless get angry).
Since it was my friends account we chopped the 12k. He proceeded to become a 200nl pro for the next few weeks. Sitting with the likes of Sam Simon (of The Simpsons, he was a frequent Poker Stars player) and melting off a good portion before tapping out.
I proceeded to continue to chip up from there. Then I had some issues on Poker Stars. While playing some 180 man sitgos I was talking to someone in chat. Who then found me on my cash tables to ask me what I had in a hand. Needless to say I broke collusion rules (worse than that, he lingered and was telling me his hands and I would tell him mine like a nimrod). Wasnt exactly intentional but I received a life time ban on Poker Stars and they sent me a check for my account balance. Not my proudest moment, it was dumb but honestly resulted in a net positive.
The end of the year I turn 21 and am grinding FTP and I am thinking about moving out of my folks house. I never get a fat roll together but I am winning here and there and blowing money like an idiot kid who has no concept of tomorrow. I was downloading new poker sites (the resulting net positive from losing stars)
One last story from this year. This is genuinely my favorite one I ever tell (and I tell it occasionally to this day in certain situations with people I dont think will get offended and they set themselves up for it)
I walk into a card room and get a 1-2 seat. I grab chips and head that way, and I end up drawing a seat directly to this old mans left. The old man was my grandfather. I had spent minimal time with this man in my life. Less than most people do with grandparents who live fairly close. He was a gambler though, stocks or cards. Rumor has it (never heard this from him only my mom and other family) in the late 70s or early 80s he sells a plot of land with a few oil drills on it and heads to Vegas where he spends 6-9 months playing poker and comes back busto. I never asked him about this story, if true I am sure he was felting himself to Brunson or Slim or some of the other old timers. The land yielded him a few hundred thousand dollars. The funny part is that piece of land is still pumping oil in 2019 (he fucked up). He recovered in life though, he never lived poorly. Owned a house on a lake in Oklahoma and dated meth addicted women 30 years younger than him my whole life. Just a standard version of a sugar daddy I suppose.
Anyhow, we greet each other and exchange a few words before just getting immersed in the game. Hes not exactly an old man coffee player, I do know his favorite hand is 910 though from poker discussions we had previously. About an hour into the session I have barely played a hand. I look over at him and say “man I just keep getting 92o 83o 72o over and over”. He then turns his head towards me and looks me in the eyes and says words I never will forget. He says (using fake name here) “Johnny, there aint one guy at this table that gives a fuck what youre folding” and looks away. I wasnt shocked at the cold response. He was a brash and dry person. Never told a joke that I remember. I never forgot it though and when people try to complain about their cards I tell them “I will tell you what my grandpappy told me, aint nobody at this table gives a fuck what youre folding”. Even though it was kind of cold, truer words rarely are uttered at a poker table. The last thing I care about is someones bad beats or card dead hour or wtf ever else. We are all so self involved that we think people care to hear a bad beat story or whatever, but they dont.
Part 3 in the next day or two.

Price: 15.000 €
Registrar: GoDaddy
The transaction will be made trough the secure escrow platform.
I also offer 20% on the sale for tho whom can find a buyer.
Description or Why to get this domain?
OPPORTUNITY: EXCELLENT ULTRA PREMIUM DOMAIN IN MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR GAMING/ GAMBLING INDUSTRY.
CasinoVegas777.com is an excellent premium domain in the casino gaming industry. The domain comprises of targeted keywords in the casino gaming industry as many casino websites are incorporating those words in their domain name for SEO. Hence this domain gives you more SEO advantage over conpetitors with this badass keyword combination.
Furthermore, the domain has a .com TLD. The extension is very popular with most premium domain. It's one of the most recognized TLDs in the world and makes cool sounding domain. For example this domain would be perfect for a nicely brandable poker gaming platform named "CasinoVegas777".
OPPORTUNITY SURROUNDING BUYING CasinoVegas777.com
The online gambling industry has been on a thrive, with casino gambling and sports betting segment having the largest share of the industry. The casino industry generates a high revenue as social casino gamers are on the rise. According to Statista, the internet casino market was forecasted to grow to 3.4 billion U.S. dollars in 2015, from 2.2 billion just two years earlier.
Another report by the market research firm, Ibis World reported that the Global Casinos and Online Gambling industry has experienced a major shift in its key markets over the five years to 2017. Industry performance is projected to accelerate more over the next five years.
Moreso, a 2017 report by Spanish gaming regulator, DGOJ estimated Casino revenue at €42.9m, up 52.5% year-on-year and 14.5% sequentially. Slots revenue also reported to soar 84% year-on-year to €21.5m. Moreso, Live Roulette was said to gain nearly two-thirds to €9.5m while RNG roulette improved 11.5% to €6.8m and blackjack rose 10.2% to just under €5m. Online poker was also reported to rise in revenue at nearly 5% year-on-year to €14.4m. To put it simply, the online Casino industry has been booming.
You might ask," What does this have to do with CasinoVegas777.com and its value to me"?
In response, I will say,"Everything"! CasinoVegas777.com is not just a domain name; the keywords combination (Casino + Vegas + 777) is a badass. The words are the hottest keywords that has to do with casino gambling industry.
The word, 'Casino' is the game itself. Vegas is also synonymous with the Casino game, being the world’s casino and gambling capital. Moreso, people usually encounter the number 777 on the floors of casinos around the world. Slot machines use the number combination to signify a winning spin and to encourage the player to feel lucky while gambling. The number 777 is not only used to entice more people to play slot machines but also to reaffirm the belief that the number represents everything that is "good."
Therefore, we are offering an authority and brandable domain in the Casino gaming industry that's ever in existence! This domain offers a potential for use, both for a startup and an existing casino gaming company. When the time to play Casino comes around, most people will prefer CasinoVegas777.com to any other site. For you (the buyer), a sucessful online Casino site!
Place the highest bid now as someone else reading this might do that to snatch this premium property from you. Act now!
FEW REASONS WHY THIS PREMIUM PROPERTY IS A GOLD MINE:

• 20,400,000 Average Monthly Searches for the "casino" Keyword.
• "Casino" Average Cost Per Click: 1.11 USD (would make good money from Adsense alone)
• Super Easy to rank and Stay Ranked!
• Easy to Remember
• Short and Easy to brand!

JUST A FEW IDEAS OF THE FUTURE OF THIS PROPERTY.
The sky is the limit for the usage potential of this domain, we just listed a few below:

• Develop the site and feature updates from the WC champion series.
• Sell the domain for six figures to a gaming company or develop a content site around the poker game. The amount of searches for casino, 777 and related term is EXPLODING!
• Hold the property as an investment. Premium properties like this aren't readily available anymore and will only increase in value.
• Park the domain and collect money. While the domain is parked make money and let people make offers to buy for significantly higher than you paid.
• Create an information site about poker game and quickly monetize with Adsense.
• Partner with a gaming company already in business.

This is one in a billion opportunity. We have had hundreds of offers on this domain in the past and present and get them daily as they literally pour in. Quite possibly the best domain name in the world!
COMPARABLE SALES
Just like in real estate, domains have "comps." You can often tell a lot about what a domain is worth by looking and what similar domains are sold for previously! Just take a look at some of the comp sales for CasinoVegas777.com as obtained from Dnpric.es:
casino .com $ 5,500,000.00 USD
casino .de $ 625,060.00 USD
onlinecasino .dk $ 580,000.00 USD
casino .online $ 201,250.00 USD
onlinecasino .co.uk £ 100,000.00 GBP
online- casino .de $ 144,900.00 USD
casino .mobi $ 135,000.00 USD
vegas.club $ 100,000.00 USD
vegasrealestate.com $ 53,611.00 USD
lasvegas.asia $ 30,000.00 USD
mobile vegas.com $ 25,000.00 USD
lasvegasbailbonds.com $ 22,005.00 USD
onlinecasino .co.uk £ 100,000.00 GBP
online- casino .de $ 144,900.00 USD
casino .mobi $ 135,000.00 USD
onlinecasino .co $ 100,000.00 USD
onlinecasino s.de $ 85,150.00 USD
online- casino s.de $ 84,500.00 USD
vegasslot casino .info $ 6,075.00 USD
casino777 .net $ 20,000.00 USD
casino777 .at $ 2,000.00 USD
vegasslotcasino.info $ 6,075.00 USD
vegasslots.net $ 5,000.00 USD
Fact: The global market size of online gambling was forecasted to reach over 59 billion U.S. dollars in 2020, growing by around 20 billion U.S. dollars in just five years.
Fact: Active gamblers of online casinos are 11% of the total number of Internet users from around the globe. According to statistics, most of them prefer poker to other classic gambling games (Slotgrator. com).
Fact: Worldwide, the gross gambling yield (GGY) of the gambling market was forecasted to grow annually to reach 511 billion U.S. dollars in 2019 (Statista).
Fact: Over 77 million Americans visited a casino in 2014 (Spring 2015 survey by market research company Nielsen Scarborough).
Fact: 42 percent of those visiting casinos said that they budgeted more than 100 U.S. dollars for a day of casino gambling (Statista).
Fact: Each Cyprus inhabitants spends an average of £ 3,125 Euros at online casino.
Fact: Every second, inhabitants of the planet has played a lottery at least once in his life (Slotgrator. com).
Fact: People are passionate about gambling - even those who have never been to any casino. (Slotgrator. com).
Fact: Today, most of the online casino audience consists of men. Their share is about 84%. Women are inherently less adventurous, but recently the proportion of active female players has been increasing annually (Slotgrator. com).
With this fact alone, don't you think buying CasinoVegas777.com is the best investment decision you could ever make this year? Place you the highest bid now!
THE STATS
To know if a domain is truly premium it is important to check how often the keyword(s) in the name is searched on Google. If a word or phrase is searched often in Google, there will be more advertisers competing for the eyeballs related to these searches. Hence, the exact matching domain name for these highly searched phrases will have great value. Check the search information for CasinoVegas777.com as obtained from Keywordspy below:
"las vegas casinos" receives 135,000 searches/month with $1.62 CPC
"vegas casino" receives 450,000 searches/month with $1.22 CPC
"vegas casino" receives 450,000 searches/month with $1.22 CPC
"vegas casino the" receives 450,000 searches/month with $1.20 CPC
"vegas casino with the" receives 450,000 searches/month with $1.23 CPC
"casino in vegas" receives 450,000 searches/month with $1.16 CPC
"las vegas casino" receives 368,000 searches/month with $1.15 CPC
"casino 777" receives 14,800 searches/month with $1.83 CPC
"777 casino" receives 14,800 searches/month with $1.88 CPC
"casino" receives 20,400,000 searches/month with $1.11 CPC
"de casino" receives 20,400,000 searches/month with $1.07 CPC
'le casino" receives 20,400,000 searches/month with $1.13 CPC
CONCLUSION
Online casino gaming industry is very huge and CasinoVegas777.com is a TOP brand for the industry. This domain will only increase in value and it is one of the best that you've got to acquire now! This name can be easily branded to a casino website or kept as investment. Either for development or investment, buying CasinoVegas777.com will pay off handsomely.
So get this asset now! Take the right decision and become the owner of this domain until it's not to late!

source: https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/

1. Trump lied to Congress that he was not meeting with any Indian casino executives when documents and sworn statements show he was.
   
2. Trump testified under oath that he is willing to claim success on something even when he knows his claim is false.
   
3. Deutsche Bank concluded Trump net worth at $788 million when he was publicly claiming (and told bank) he was worth multiple billions.
   
4. Trump said under oath that he determines his net worth based on how he feels.
   
5. While Trump suggests he has an MBA from prestigious Wharton graduate school, only attended undergraduate program for 2 years. Has no MBA
   
6. Trump’s first project, given to him by his dad, lost money, according to state records. Trump has publicly lied that it made money.
   
7. Trump’s second project was a Broadway show. It bombed, closing after 96 performances. He lost his investment.
   
8. Trump’s claim that his dad gave him only $1m is a lie. His trust fund was $1 mill. Dad gave $10.4m for a bogus consultant job guaranteed $70 m loan, got him $35m credit line, laundered $3.35mill 2 Don in illegal casino deal, loaned $7.5m more (never repaid.)
   
9. As Trump claimed great success, tax returns showed not. In ‘78 lost $1.5M. In ‘79, lost $11.4m. No bankruptcy cause dad gave him more $
   
10. When Trump built Taj Mahal, testified under oath to NJ he'd only use bank loans, not junk bonds. No bank would lend. Used junk bonds
    
11. Trump’s 3 casinos all competed with each other, which is why no banks loans. Taj took business from his other 2 casinos, crippling all.
    
12. Trump spent huge sums on airline, promising top elegance. People w/ airline experience said it couldnt work. It never turned a profit.
    
13. After Trump’s top casino execs died in accident, Trump took over running them. Large numbers of execs quit because of his management.
    
14. When Trump about to default on interest payment for casino, his dad/he broke law by having dad launder $3.35 mill through casino.
    
15. Dad gave Trump another $150,000 loan next day, unreported to banks, in violation of bank agreement.
    
16. Rules breaking in financing (money laundering from dad etc) resulted in sanctions against him from NJ casino commission.
    
17. Trump banks were forced to make deal with him after bankruptcy of casinos because he personally guaranteed loans. If they went after personal guarantee, entire Trump empire would collapse and banks would lose billions. Banks loaned him tons more to save him.
    
18. Trump was $3.5 bill in debt. Later, when banks bailed him out, he claimed in books he was $9.5bill in debt to make recovery look better.
    
19. Trump admitted under oath that, when he claimed he was $9.5 bill in debt in his books, it was a lie and he knew it.
    
20. No banks will lend to Trump except Deutsche Bank. In 2008, he defaulted on a $640 mill construction loan to them.
    
21. List of Trump failures: TrumpMortgage, TrumpFinancial, Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts, Trump Shuttle, GoTrump.com, Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, Trump Taj, Trump Castle, Trump Plaza, Trump Dubai, Trump University, Trump Toronto, Trump Hollywood..I could go on many more tweets listing Trump's business failures. It'd be easier to list the Trump businesses that haven't failed.
    
22. In Trump University, Trump claimed to “personally select” teachers who would teach real estate secrets. He did not, they did not.
    
23. Unable to get bank loans because of his terrible record as a businessman, Trump began selling his name 4 use on other ppl’s projects.
    
24. Trump marketed projects of other developers as his own. Only those who read dense legal agreement’s fine print learned it was a lie.
    
25. Trump sold his name 2 incompetent developers whose projects collapsed, costing people who paid deposits millions while he made millions.
    
26. When condo buyers sued Trump for falsely claiming projects of other developers were his, he said they should have read the fine print.
    
27. Trump testified he did a favor to the condo buyers who lost millions by trusting him, because they avoided the real estate collapse.
    
28. In 1990, one of Trump’s lieutenants told me ““The thing you don’t understand about Donald Trump is that he’s mentally ill.”
    
29. I wrote about Trump 4 New York Times. First time we spoke, he lied to me in his first sentence. He told three more lies in 5 min call.
    
30. Trump lied that to WashPost in '87 that he knew stock market crash was coming and sold all his stocks. SEC filings prove it.
    
31. To escape liability for fraud, Trump argued that a “development by Donald Trump” is different than “a Donald Trump development.”
    
32. Trump wrote “Bill Clinton was great president,” denied it under oath then said wrote it be4 knowing of Lewinsky scandal of 10 yrs before
    
33. In 2008, Trump wrote, “I know Hillary, and I think she would make a great president." Testified in 2016 he wrote it without thinking.
    
34. Asked under oath identities of professors at Trump U (there were none) Trump said “I know names, but I don't know the identities.”
    
35. After saying under oath he knew the names of professors at Trump U (none existed) Trump could not name any.
    
36. When sued for saying other developers buildings were his, Trump said truth wasn’t in ads because there wasn’t enough room 4 the words.
    
37. Trump claimed to own 50% of a project when he owned 30%. His explanation under oath: “I always felt like I owned 50%.”
    
38. Trump said he was paid $1m for speech when paid $400,000. Under oath, he agreed he was paid 400, but said $1mill was still correct.
    
39. Trump has never released a real medical report. His father had alzheimers, which is genetic and could hit at about Trump’s age.
    
40. In 2007, Trump said his favorite book was his own, The Art of the Deal. Once he started running 4 president, he said it was the Bible.
    
41. When asked to give his favorite words from the Bible, Trump cited an Old Testament phrase that was the only one repudiated by Jesus.
    
42. When testifying under oath, Trump refused to answer questions 97 times about infidelities and suspected mistresses.
    
43. Trump has called for US military to commit 3 different war crimes. When told military would refuse, he said theyd do what he commanded.
    
44. Trump has directly insulted leaders of four allied countries, while offering effusive praise to Vladimir Putin.
    
45. Trump has refused to release the letter sent by the IRS to prove he is under audit, despite dozens of requests from many reporters.
    
46. An investigation of Trump’s partners reveals an enterprise with deep ties to global financiers, foreign politicians and even criminals.
    
47. Trump’s business interests run in direct conflict with the national security interests of the United States.
    
48. Trump revealed none of his partners or dealings with overseas entities in his financial disclosure to the FEC.
    
49. Trump receives $8 million a year from South Korea business w/ interests in nukes. He has called for SK to have nukes.
    
50. Trump’s efforts in India were first shot down by politicians. His business partner is now under investigation by police.
    
51. Trump’s conflicts in India are irreparable, and in issues with Pakistan, his financial interests lie solely with India.
    
52. Trump’s business partner in Turkey has been arrested for fraud.
    
53. Turkey’s president has told associates he will not allow US to use an airbase key to the battle against ISIS if Trump is president.
    
54. Trump’s first business partners in UAE were indicted on charges of fraud.
    
55. When a member of Saudi royal family criticized Trump, Trump attacked him as “dopey” and said he wants to control America w/ “daddy’s $”
    
56. Trump tried to strike a deal Libyan Investment Authority under Qaddafi, and offered murdering Libyan dictator a place 2 stay at his home
    
57. The father of Trump’s business partner in Azerbaijan is govnt official who US intelligence says launders money for the Iranian military.
    
58. Trump’s statement he would avoid conflicts by placing his company in a blind trust is a lie; what he describes is not a blind trust.
    
59. Trump told GOPrs at debate that he never pushed Jeb Bush for casino deal in Florida. Under oath a few years earlier, he said he did.
    
60. In 1999, Trump’s company secretly violated Cuban embargo. Months later, in 1st run for president, Trump said he never would.
    
61. Trump officials were advised to hide the payments spent in violation of Cuban embargo as being related to charity work.
    

edit: adding more

1. Trump calls for return to American steel. Yet he secretly used Chinese steel on his last 2 developments projects 2 increase his profits
   
2. Trump opted out of using steel on many buildings, instead purchasing concrete from businesses controlled by Genovese crime family.
   
3. To hide the ultimate source of his Chinese steel, Trump purchased it through a shell company based in the British Virgin Islands.
   
4. Money paid to the Chinese steel manufacturers went to repay loans from Chinese banks, which are arms of the state.
   
5. Trump has said he has been forced to use China to manufacture his clothing line because no one makes such things in USA. That’s a lie.
   
6. For Trump Chicago building, Trump obtained financing from George Soros. (Means nothing, but it terrifies conserv conspiracy theorists.)
   
7. During his time buying Chinese steel, Chinese companies were dumping steel on US market. That cost many steelworkers their jobs.
   
8. Trump hides his taxes, but we know: He lost $ in ’78-’79, paid no taxes from 91-93, lost $1B in ’95 and likely never paid taxes since.
   
9. Trump read manufactured, bogus Russian propaganda at a rally within hours of it appearing on the internet.
   
10. After promising to salvage precious artworks on a building for the Met, Trump had them jackhammered instead to save $32,000.
    
11. To explain his destruction of art, Trump posed as spokesman “John Barron” and lied that appraisers had called the works worthless
    
12. If Trump had simply invested $ he received from his dad in a mutual fund, he’d be worth far more than he is, a sign of bad business.
    
13. Trump regularly cheats at golf, even revising scorecard after a match 2 transform defeat into victory, according 2 ppl who play w/ him
    
14. Trump persuaded an elderly couple who ran an antique store to let him “try out” 2 valuable pieces, then refused to return or pay 4 them
    
15. Trump bought jewelry in Manhattan, then colluded with the store to ship empty boxes out of state so he could dodge New York sales tax.
    
16. Trump told a “friend” whom he sued over several years that he did so because the friend hadn’t given him enough praise.
    
17. When business execs came to his office, Trump bragged about his wife, Melania & showed them nude photographs of her from modeling days.
    
18. Trump reneged on a family-wide commitment to pay medical bills for his nephew’s severely sick baby because he was mad.
    
19. Trump engaged in a civil conspiracy to defraud union pension funds by hiring undocumented Polish workers, a court found.
    

Subreddit	Title	Brand
gaming	New gamer with Xbox One	Xbox
worldnews	Japanese forces will join this year’s joint Balikatan military exercises between the Philippines and the United States	United
Music	Ron Joseph, LP 1977 - Chase Your Dreams, song - silver ones, Help?	Chase
funny	At least 7 things are wrong with this picture. Spotted at Walmart of course	Walmart
videos	She Wildin': Woman Brags About Setting Her Baby Daddy Up For Jail On Facebook Live!	Facebook
Showerthoughts	Nintendo should let people pay for a Switch in monthly installments like Apple sells the iPhone since they're competing more with Apple than Xbox or PlayStation.	Apple
Showerthoughts	Nintendo should let people pay for a Switch in monthly installments like Apple sells the iPhone since they're competing more with Apple than Xbox or PlayStation.	Xbox
funny	I used the Dankland meme generator on Facebook with my picture and this was the result	Facebook
todayilearned	TIL The United States Government Has A Patent On Marijuana	United
pics	The ice this morning turned my dull and dreary Ford Focus into a mosaic masterpiece.	Ford
todayilearned	TIL in 1974 a Washington lawyer circulated a theory that 'elites' had raided all the gold from the United States Bullion Depository in Fort Knox. Members of the media were given access in order refute the theory. It is the only time a member of the public has been allowed inside the vault.	United
Jokes	"Do you, Donald J. Trump, solemnly swear or affirm that you will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of your ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States?"	United
videos	This Lego machine spins old dry erase markers until they are new	Lego
movies	Head of Sony Entertainment, Michael Lynton, to Step Down	Sony
AskReddit	People who never made a Facebook or Instagram account: Why?	Facebook
news	Supreme Court to hear Santander debt collection dispute	Santander
mildlyinteresting	My roommates' and my ribeye steak looks like the United States without Florida	United
funny	Tried to find a picture of a ram sheep but Google failed me	Google
AskReddit	What did you think of the Kenny Omega vs Okada match?	Omega
philosophy	This explains a lot about modern day society and why it's so predatory. Youtube Video	Youtube
mildlyinteresting	This on/off switch for the Internet, on a Delta Airlines plane I just flew on	Delta
pics	Impressive Walt Disney World Construction Photos from the 60's, 70's & 80's	Walt Disney
AskReddit	What was the longest you've spent on Youtube in one sitting?	Youtube
mildlyinteresting	This just happened to my girlfriends 06 Toyota 4Runner. She wondered why I was taking a picture. Oh babe you have to get on Reddit!	Toyota
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: How is the United States allowed to go into other countries and try to force a regime change?	United
funny	Nice try Microsoft Edge.	Microsoft
worldnews	US Senate to probe Russian 'hacking' - BBC News	BBC
aww	He keeps turning my Xbox off so I'll pet him.	Xbox
funny	What did the guy at Subway say when he made me the incorrect sandwich?	Subway
science	SpaceX rocket set to return to flight - BBC News	BBC
gaming	He keeps turning my Xbox off so I'll pet him.	Xbox
Music	RAMMSTEIN - AMOUR - What other songs can you find censored on Youtube that are hidden?	Youtube
Showerthoughts	I don't care of Apple makes its next phone waterproof or anything else. I just want the screen to not crack when I drop it.	Apple
Showerthoughts	Using Google Maps usually ends up with me trying to beat my estimated arrival time	Google
worldnews	Fort McMurray Walmart charged for selling contaminated food after wildfires	Walmart
AskReddit	serious why didn't ISPs block Facebook before net neutrality?	Facebook
AskReddit	What license would make an amazing Lego game?	Lego
food	Homemade Orange Chicken with rice	Orange
AskReddit	If you could take a picture with any person who has walked this earth and post it to Facebook who would it be?	Facebook
worldnews	Mexican traders debate buying Twitter and shutting it down to silence Donald Trump - President-elect has hurt the nation's currency with a series of damaging tweets - now some people have an interesting proposal	Twitter
Futurology	Microsoft just bought an AI startup that can outperform Facebook and Google - Maluuba brings a deep learning pioneer into the fold at Microsoft	Google
Futurology	Microsoft just bought an AI startup that can outperform Facebook and Google - Maluuba brings a deep learning pioneer into the fold at Microsoft	Facebook
mildlyinteresting	This Jeep clearly indicates if it needs help.	Jeep
mildlyinteresting	The logo on the Nissan Rogue my brother is renting is misspelled	Nissan
todayilearned	TIL that in 1953, the United States Army tested a 15 kiloton nuclear weapon in Nevada, fired out of a cannon	United
mildlyinteresting	My Ferrero Roche came with two stickers on one and none on the other.	Roche
food	Homemade Apple Cheesecake	Apple
AskReddit	What would be the social implications of the United States becoming increasingly biracial, to the end that racial "purity" becomes a thing of the past?	United
Showerthoughts	During snowy/icy conditions Google Maps should show you the least hilly roads	Google
todayilearned	TIL that New York is the second largest wine producer in the United States	United
worldnews	Mexican traders debate buying Twitter and shutting it down to silence Donald Trump. President-elect has hurt the nation's currency with a series of damaging tweets	Twitter
Jokes	Why did the Uber driver get fired last night?	Uber
personalfinance	Assistance Negotiating with AT&T for internet new customer?	AT&T
worldnews	Barack Obama's 2008 speech on race in United States	United
todayilearned	TIL Apple makes $1,997 in just a second.	Apple
AskReddit	Why didn't Ash ever come back for his Pigeot after the Orange League?	Orange
videos	12-Year-Old Girl Commits Suicide On Facebook Live	Facebook
videos	12-Year-Old Girl Commits Suicide On Facebook Live	Facebook
todayilearned	TIL the BBC ran a contest asking vacationers for pictures of French beaches prior to D-Day to help gather intelligence and determine whether the beach was suitable for an amphibious landing.	BBC
worldnews	Canada prepares for "radical recast" of relationship with the United States, names Chrystia Freeland, leading Russia critic banned from entry by Moscow, as foreign minister.	United
books	Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry	Dove
worldnews	Rare Trump whisky sold for £6,000 at auction - BBC News	BBC
AskReddit	What is the most popular food in the United States?	United
pics	New York Subway in pictures from 70 and 80	Subway
AskReddit	What's something that only happens in The United States?	United
videos	Langur monkeys grieve over fake monkey - Spy in the Wild: Episode 1 Preview - BBC One	BBC
mildlyinteresting	My Uber passenger asked to go to Taco Bell. He ordered one of everything. And two Empenadas.	Uber
funny	My Uber passenger ordered one of everything at Taco Bell.	Uber
personalfinance	I have a rolling balance of $3,529.81 on a Wells Fargo credit card paying 18% variable APR. My credit score is 725 according to CK. They told me they couldn't lower my rate.	Wells Fargo
Futurology	2018 Lexus LS 500: A luxurious 415 horsepower	Lexus
movies	This is the first image released by Sony pictures of the upcoming "Crash Test Dummies" live action film. I know a producer there and he claims the project will cost upwards of $30,000,000	Sony
OldSchoolCool	Adolf Hitler, Ferdinand Porsche and various Nazi officials examine a model of a tractor 1938	Porsche
pics	I found Waldo in Alaska with Google Maps	Google
mildlyinteresting	This IKEA employee's product search cheat sheet	IKEA
AskReddit	If Youtube existed since 100 years, what would be videos with billion views?	Youtube
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: why couldn't Walmart survive in South Korea?	Walmart
pics	Shot on my Sony Alpha A7II	Sony
Music	Bonnie Raitt - Under The Falling Sky Rhythm'n'Blues The Old Grey Whistle Test Show - 1976	Sky
videos	Chava Flores’s 97th Birthday Google Doodles	Google
AskReddit	I deactivated my Facebook account. What happens now?	Facebook
mildlyinteresting	A stadium made of Heineken products	Heineken
AskReddit	Serious If you provide dead friend's 2015 obituary, why won't Twitter take down his account?	Twitter
mildlyinteresting	A soccer stadium made from Heineken products	Heineken
gaming	As seen in Walmart Monticello, Indiana	Walmart
AskReddit	What is that one thing, you like most about United States?	United
AskReddit	What is currently your favorite Youtube video?	Youtube
mildlyinteresting	This can of Red Bull was run over by a truck and the explosion looks like a penis.	Red Bull
worldnews	Trump adds even more Goldman Sachs execs to his administration	Goldman Sachs
books	Anyone else really not like The Bell Jar?	Bell
funny	How we did homework before Google www.geekyprint.com	Google
food	I Ate Fishball Noodles - possibly the only Michelin Bib Gourmand Stall in a University Campus In the World	Michelin
AskReddit	What are your thoughts on the government of the United States of America being a global terrorist organization?	United
LifeProTips	LPT: TD Bank and most banks will refund late payment fees if you ask -- and its an automated phone system	TD
mildlyinteresting	If Google ran a food stall in India, this is what it would look like	Google
pics	How we found our way around Manhattan before Google Maps.	Google
Music	Want to follow new metal? I keep track of new heavy releases on Spotify, Facebook and Shreddit x-post from /metalmetal	Facebook
AskReddit	How do you change your Xbox live status to online on Xbox one?	Xbox
worldnews	Nicole Kidman hits out at critics who branded her a ‘Trump supporter’ after BBC interview	BBC
AskReddit	What do you guys think of bernies 3rd lake house and Audi r8 paid for by campaign donations?	Audi
news	Judge: Exxon Mobil must give documents to attorney general	Mobil
news	Judge: Exxon Mobil must give documents to attorney general	Exxon
todayilearned	TIL In 1966, Walt Disney wrote "Kurt Russell" on a piece of paper as his final words.	Walt Disney
videos	Japanese women has TV show help her make an entire chicken out of KFC bones	KFC
explainlikeimfive	ELI5:Why are Twitter Lists so hated?	Twitter
AskReddit	Serious Travelers of Reddit who have gone traveled around a different country for many months, how did you do it? Where did you stay for a month or two at a time?	Travelers
worldnews	Kamiyah Mobley: 'Tears of joy' for stolen baby's family - BBC News	BBC
Music	DownWired - Volvo Vacation Chiptune	Volvo
pics	Bizznezz dad at Lego land	Lego
funny	Visit our page on Facebook to help!	Facebook
Futurology	Future Left Podcast Ep. 51: Talking 'Transhuman: The Documentary' with Ford Fischer: the Filmmaker	Ford
videos	Drones fly over Newport Beach CA	Newport
AskReddit	What actual thing makes the United States a unique and useful cog in the machine?	United
pics	Clark Kent went super undercover at my local Dave and busters.	Kent
worldnews	Mosul battle: Iraq forces 'retake' university from IS - BBC News	BBC
funny	Clark Kent went super undercover this time around x-post /pics	Kent
funny	Even Clark Kent makes a better Batman than Ben Affleck. X-post from /pics	Kent
pics	Even Clark Kent makes a better Batman than Ben Affleck	Kent
OldSchoolCool	A future President of The United States and his bride to be-1992	United
mildlyinteresting	This McDonald's tiny sign	McDonald's
funny	I know it's early, but it's already a contender for Facebook comment of the year.	Facebook
mildlyinteresting	This shoe print in the sand left the Nike logo intact.	Nike
videos	Guy finds Porsche GT3 Race car and does other stuff	Porsche
videos	Started learning Sony Vegas and made my first CSGO Fragmovie	Sony
funny	My new medium: Facebook group chat shortcuts	Facebook
photoshopbattles	PsBattle: Cat and Orange Look Like an Egg	Orange
AskReddit	What are the "Is Pepsi okay" equivalents of other moments in life?	Pepsi
Showerthoughts	At ~1 minute per day, I have spent approximately 18 hours looking for my Apple remote in the past three years.	Apple
pics	$1,800 Gucci goat hair shoes. Wondering if Gucci makes Trump's hair...	Gucci
gaming	I love it when I find buddies on Youtube by quoting the same game	Youtube
funny	When u use his phone to call Pizza Hut and your phone starts ringing	Pizza Hut
Jokes	I tried having sex with an Apple product designer recently... NSFW	Apple
tifu	TIFU by asking my Uber driver to call 911 if I don't text her in 5 minutes.	Uber
dataisbeautiful	"Who is Trump" searches spike at election time. Google Trends. OC	Google
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: What's the point of auto manufacturers working with their rivals to create identical vehicles, ie: Ford Escape/Mazda Tribute, Pontiac Vibe/Toyota Matrix?	Ford
gaming	If you haven't tried it out yet, Titanfall 2 is the Staff pick from Microsoft on their Xbox Page! Cross posting this from titanfall	Microsoft
gaming	If you haven't tried it out yet, Titanfall 2 is the Staff pick from Microsoft on their Xbox Page! Cross posting this from titanfall	Xbox
videos	Hey, I thought I would share my progress on using my Youtube payments to save up for a classic car! a mini!	Youtube
funny	Trying to Google "enamel that looks like syrup"	Google
gaming	To put the cost of these controllers in perspective, the equivalent cost on release would have been $135 on the Xbox One and $108 on the PS4!	Xbox
personalfinance	Converted Chase Amazon Visa from 3% to 5% Rewards, now the rewards only show on Amazon?	Chase
AskReddit	What would business have been like for 7-Eleven if 9/11 happened on 7/11?	7-Eleven
videos	The SUN Last 28 Days AIA 193/304 2016-12-17 07:41:54 - 2017-01-14 02:36:53 UTC	AIA
worldnews	YouTuber 'Crazy Sumit', Arrested For Youtube 'Prank' Videos	Youtube
AskReddit	Serious Non-Americans of Reddit who have an unfavorable view of the United States and its influence, why do you feel this way?	United
mildlyinteresting	This Walgreens is only opened 4 hours a day.	Walgreens
news	New evidence: Was DB Cooper a Boeing employee?	Boeing
videos	Social experiment compares how Russia and the United States treat an ill man on the street	United
gaming	As a long time Xbox player	Xbox
videos	Made an urban outfit from Walmart with $15	Walmart
AskReddit	From working in a Casino in Ireland, how bad is gambling problems elsewhere around the World?	Casino
OldSchoolCool	The Patiala Necklace - Bhupinder Singh Maharaja of Patiala, wearing the Patiala Necklace created by the House of Cartier in 1928.	Cartier
funny	My Apple Watch gives me this message twice a day but I just can't hold my breath that long!	Apple
nottheonion	National championship trophy to be displayed at Upstate Walmart stores	Walmart
AskReddit	serious How could Google exist with no net neutrality?	Google
dataisbeautiful	Amazon is worth $356B, while Walmart and 7 other big retailers combined: $298B	Walmart
pics	If this post gets enough upvotes, this image will show up when you search for Schicklgruber on Google Images.	Google
mildlyinteresting	Found an unmarked envelope in my room with a 5 year old Apple gift card inside	Apple
Documentaries	The Brain with David Eagleman - What Is Reality - BBC Documentary 2016	BBC
gaming	One of my best mate's girlfriend's younger brother started a gaming channel on Youtube a couple months back. It would be super funny and would make his day if you could go bomb it.	Youtube
mildlyinteresting	Bottom half of IKEA glass broke in the midst of me taking a sip!	IKEA
gaming	To put the cost of these controllers in perspective, the equivalent cost on release would have been $135 on the Xbox One and $108 on the PS4!	Xbox
pics	I'm a server at a pub and we don't stick Budweiser products. Because of this, we can't use the word super bowl, I had to get creative.	Budweiser
gaming	My friend is a producer on Dead Rising 4 and got this custom Xbox One S	Xbox
Futurology	MaluubaThe company Microsoft just bought: Towards Artificial General Intelligence	Microsoft
Jokes	It's a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University.	Gatorade
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: If a plane is flying west, does it just go up in the sky and let the earth rotate underneath it until it gets to where it needs to land? I'm not sure how that works since the earth rotates at 1,040 MPH according to Google and the cruising speed of an airplane is around 550-600 MPH.	Google
listentothis	Unge Ferrari - Vanilje Norwegian R&B 2015	Ferrari
personalfinance	Why does Chase savings provide only 0.01% interest, while other banks such as CapitalOne and Synchrony can provide rates above 1%?	Chase
Jokes	Me: why'd we switch from Verizon to Time Warner?	Verizon
todayilearned	TIL Coca-Cola increased sales over 10% by converting "suitcase" like 12-packs to the now standard refrigerator friendly 12-packs	Coca-Cola
AskReddit	Lyft / Uber drivers of Reddit: what's the most efficient/cost effective way to go about getting your diver documentation medical exam and vehicle inspection?	Uber
food	HOMEMADE Sous vide filet mignon from Walmart with beef stroganoff sauce, brown and red rice with chia and kale and sautéed green beans.	Walmart
nottheonion	China's Tencent criticized for simulated oral sex show at staff event	Tencent
gaming	I though my Xbox live account got hacked because someone changed the names of my custom classes..Found out months later it was my drunk friend.	Xbox
gaming	The all new Uber Extreme	Uber
movies	Mark Hamill Records Donald Trump's Meryl Streep Twitter Rant as The Joker	Twitter
gaming	Some guy made Portal for the Apple II	Apple
Showerthoughts	The Daily Planet must have the worst journalists if they can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman	Kent
DIY	Replaced My 32-year-old GE double wall oven	GE
Showerthoughts	Taco Bell commercials never say "food," just meals.	Bell
gaming	Battlefield 1 - Graphics comparison PC vs Xbox & PS4 Real Footage	Xbox
pics	Stan Lee and his 1987 Mercedes-Benz 420SEL	Mercedes-Benz
videos	Can you use Coca-Cola as a Motor oil?	Coca-Cola
mildlyinteresting	Pulled up to the hospital today and noticed my doctor is also an Uber driver.	Uber
news	"Google Translate invented its own language to help it translate more effectively. What’s more, nobody told it to." - the mind-blowing AI announcement from Google that you probably missed.	Google
videos	New Apple ad for iPhone 7 AirPods	Apple
videos	Battlefield 1 - Graphics comparison PC vs Xbox & PS4 Real Footage	Xbox
worldnews	"Google Translate invented its own language to help it translate more effectively. What’s more, nobody told it to." - the mind-blowing AI announcement from Google that you probably missed.	Google

Had it been 1990 and not 2026 communicating with my dick would have involved long distance charges. But that was just nostalgia and the shrooms talking. After fifteen years without a shave and a meal under a thousand greasy calories I had at long last come out of my 99th nervous breakdown four months ago.
Brown rice and organic sauerkraut with a teaspoon of miso was all I had been eating for the past 120 days and I was chewing each mouthful a hundred times. The pounds were melting as fast the remaining ten miles of polar ice caps. I was hoping to see my cock without the aid of a mirror before Brooklyn was six feet under sea level. I had read on google that hanging yourself often resulted in the complete evacuation of one's bowels so I figured it was only polite not to submit some poor EMT to a noseful of three day old Micky-D's shit.
Either way I was tripping my balls off. I hadn't dosed since 1992 and my doors of perception had just been blown off their rusty hinges.
"Trippin...."
"Who said that?"
"The man in the mirror..."
"I was born at night but not last night."
"Stop talking to yourself Krafty."
"I would if you'd shut the fuck up old man."
"Cops are coming."
"Why? We're not getting evicted till next week and I'll hang myself first."
"Better go look in the mirror laughing boy..."
I sighed. It was inevitable. I was 59. That was fucking enough failure for me. And with Donald Trump having been CEO of USA Inc. since 2016 I did not relish the thought of a corporate debtor's prison. When I said billionaire or bust back in 2007 I wasn't fucking kidding. And in the last 19 years I had managed to lose fourteen million dollars of my own and my best friend's money. My backup plan's backup had always been Chapter 7 but thanks to The Donald that was no longer a possibility. And with the country two years into The Greater Recession getting that final round of financing had proven impossible. My patents would be expiring by the end of the decade and I was getting too old to re-enter the workforce.
So..., to the Bat-Mirror. I approached with my senior blues wide shut. Tentatively I cupped an eye and took a sneak peek between two fingers.
"Motherfucker!"
"I need you bro."
"Corky?"
"Come to Atlantic City. Tomorrow night. The New Trump Casino. The Green Room. Midnight. Bring fourteen thousand dollars. Casheesh."
"What the fuck?!?!?!"
"I need you bro."
I removed my hands and manned up. But it was too late. Corky was gone. Corky had been my best friend from nine to eighteen. And then the day we were supposed to graduate high school in 1985 he never showed up. Just disappeared into the ether. No note. No nothing. And Corky's Dad Donald was found modeling that year's Colombian necktie in the bedroom mirror. It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. The culmination of a misspent youth that I surely would not have survived if Corky had not saved my ass that sunny day in 1976 when Scott Jackson hit me in the head with a rock in Prospect Park and was going to finish the job with an even bigger rock.
Corky was a big kid. He was 5'10" in the fifth grade and he dressed like a Hell's Angel. He was cutting school that day and sauntered right up to Scott who was sitting on my chest and holding a big rock over his head looking like he was going to end me.
"Whatchoo gonna do with that rock? Voodoo?"
"Beat it white boy before I kick yo' ass too."
Corky bent down and lifted the rock over his head with Scott still attached.
"You been reading Lord of the Flies homes?"
"Fuck you white boy! Put me down 'fore you catch a beat down."
Corky accomodated Scott. He hurled the rock back to terra firma with Scott still attached to it bouncing it off his head. It made a sickening crack that sounded like the Channel Eleven Yule Log.
"Sorry Piggy."
Then apparently dissatisfied with his work he tried tried again until Scott Jackson was one with the Prospect Park lawn. Me and my then best friend Aaron Farbman just watched in shock. When it was over Aaron farted and then vomited. Corky wiped some blood specks off his face with the back of his hand and offered me a cigarette. I figured it was a good time to become a Marlboro Man.
As fate would have it it turned out that Corky not only saved me from a stoning he was also a neighbor. His father Donald had taken the apartment Aaron used to live in just one floor below me. Aaron's mom had married up and they had moved into a brownstone while I lingered behind with my psychotic mother on welfare and food stamps. Such was life.
Corky's dad was the angriest deadhead I'd ever met but he let Corky do whatever he wanted and what Corky wanted was never ending reefer fueled mischief. After Corky moved in it wasn't long before I stopped getting my ass kicked every day by all the usual suspects. He sort of adopted me as his brother and considering his apartment had color television and a fridge full of food and mine only had my psychotic mother who was I to argue with fate?
By the time I was thirteen we were smoking an ounce a week, tripping on shrooms and acid and fucking high school chicks. Corky was tall enough for the NBA by the eighth grade although he had long since stopped showing up for school.
"Don't need a diploma where I'm going...," he'd always say.
I never pressed him on it. There was something severely off in his entire family but since my family was more twisted than a Jew For Jesus I just let it go.
Meanwhile back in the mirror my face was alternately aging from 59 to 80 and back to 17 and then back through my 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s leaving me with temporal whiplash.
"It's all relative and your relatives are psychotic," I heard my voice say.
Last week I had found my father fingerpainting his bedroom walls with his own shit.
"Who's that supposed to be? Nixon?"
"It's all bullshit Izzy."
Turns out my father had Alzheimer's and Renal failure and without insurance or any money it looked like he'd be dead sooner rather than later. My younger half-brother had committed suicide last year at the age of 43 and at the funeral I had seen my ex-stepmother BettyJo Lemongello for the first time in 25 years.
"It's all your fault Izzy."
"Nice to see you again, BettyJo."
"You don't like me very much. Do you?"
"That's not true. I just feel better when you're not around."
I cracked my neck and checked my bank account. I had a little over fourteen thousand dollars left and then I was destitute. I hadn't paid alimony to either of my ex-wives in six months and I figured I'd send them an email to pick up their back pay right before I offed myself. Sometimes you gotta stick it to the woman.
"Atlantic City huh? Saturday nite? Fuck it!"
I owed Corky. After all we were blood brothers. I'll never remember that night when we were thirteen. We were hanging out in the speakeasy in our apartment building's basement listening to Dogs by Pink Floyd. We cut our fingers mixing blood and then signed our names in crimson on a legal contract I had hastily drawn up before the acid kicked in stipulating that we were now blood brothers for life, come hell or high water, etc. etc. We had then hidden the document in the speakeasy's ceiling somewhere that I can no longer recollect.
The speakeasy was our secret clubhouse and for the longest time nobody else knew about it. At least not until we became sexually active at which point many a Brooklyn cushette had been blindfolded and sworn to secrecy never to divulge the whereabout or wheretofores of our anti-prohibition getaway.
You had to walk down a long dark chilly hall to get to it. We had discovered it one day when we were 14. We had been tripping and exploring the building's nether regions when Corky had said something rude about my crush Shawna McGee and I had pushed him into the wall.
And then Corky was gone. Vanished into thin air. It would have freaked me out even if I wasn't tripping. I screamed his name.
"Holy fuck dude!"
"Corky?!?!?"
"You gotta check this shit out!!!!"
"Where are you?!?!?!"
And then just like that Corky was back.
"It's a fucking hidden door!"
We had gone back to his apartment to get his father's flashlight. It was an old hidden room that bootleggers had used to stash The Real McCoy. We were like pigs in shit. We found old fedoras, a Victor Victrola, an old radio, a few revolvers and an old lamp that was shaped like a showgirl's gams.
And that was how we found our secret clubhouse. We had marked the opposite wall with glow in the dark paint in a Yin/Yang symbol and I had spent many a week living there when my psycho mom would throw me out and my dad and BettyJo wanted nothing to do with me. I had lost my virginity in there. We had decorated it like a hippie den and it was everything a secret speakeasy for teenagers in the early 80s should have been.
But the day Corky disappeared and Donald was found dead it disappeared. I tried to find it, really I did. I was sure I'd find Corky in there hiding out with his father's blood on his hands muttering some Oedipal shit but that speakeasy just vanished from this dimension. Suffice to say I left for college and never came back. I had always hoped Corky would surface somehow somewhere but he never did. Not even a postcard. Eventually I thought about him less and less but I never forgot him.
When Google became a thing I tried to find him but it was as if he had never existed. It was almost like I dreamed the whole thing. I say almost because while I may have been a failure in marriage and business I was not prone to delusions. Well maybe of grandeur but not the hallucinatory kind that get you committed. Maybe life would have been easier had I just gone bugfuck looney tunes but that just wasn't my style.
...
I had stopped tripping with the sunrise and had managed to get a solid seven hours sleep. I stumbled out of the bed too take a piss and that's when it hit me. For the first time in 16 years I could see my dick. Something was definitely up. Or somethings I should say.
"Did I hallucinate that shit?" I wondered aloud.
Later that night I put on a twenty year old pair of Levis that fit like it was 2006. I went to the ATM and withdrew $14,000.00. My bank account now contained the princely sum of thirty-three dollars and thirty-three cents. I grabbed a driverless Uber and headed to Atlantic City.
Atlantic City hadn't changed much since I'd been there last in 1991. Same old chain smoking blue haired mustachioed ladies betting their social security checks on the slots. Cept now they were vaping. It took a while but I finally found the Green Room at 11:59 pm.
I was thinking I probably imagined the whole fucking thing when two giant hamhocks grabbed my shoulders.
"Whatup Izzy?!?!!?!?!?!?"
I was lifted three feet in the air and I was face to face with all seven feet of Corky Clay.
"It was you you motherfucker."
Corky got me in a bear hug and I said, "Can't breathe."
I was eased down ever so gently to terra firma and Corky said, "Did you bring the money?"
"It's my last fourteen grand dude."
"Yeah, but you were gonna kill yourself anyway so what's the big diff?"
"How'd you know that?"
"Nevermind. We gotta hit the roulette wheel."
As I double-timed it to keep up with Corky's big strides I said, "What the fuck happened to you dude?"
"Whaddya mean?"
"I mean after graduation you disappeared and Donald was decapitated."
"Fuck that prick. He wasn't even my real dad."
"Is that why you always called him, 'Donald?'"
"No. I called him Donald cause he looked like a fucking duck."
"He did, didn't he?"
We got to the roulette wheel and Corky put out his giant hand.
"Dude. After this I am officially destitute. I won't even be able to afford to get home to off myself."
"I need you bro."
I hesitated.
"Have I ever fucked you over dude?"
I dug in my sports jacket and fished out my net worth and placed it in his hand. Corky turned it into chips and then bet it all on 33 black. The croupier closed the wheel for betting and we watched it spin. I felt big beads of sweat break out on my forehead. I realized I hadn't been laid in a decade and I had been planning to find a whore for my last night on Planet Earth. I sighed thinking the best laid plans...
"33 black wins!"
I felt my jaw come unhinged. I shook my head. People applauded. An hour later we were in the penthouse suite snorting lines of coke off asian hooker titties.
"I think I'm still tripping..."
Corky reached in his MC jacket and tossed a bag of shrooms on the glass coffee table.
"No, but you will be."
"Dude. I don't understand any of this."
"You're my brother. And you were there in my time of need. What's there to understand?"
"But how? And where the fuck did you disappear to? You know the speakeasy disappeared too..."
"Mmmm. Yes and no."
"Care to elaborate Captain Opaque?"
"I been living in the Great Depression for the past forty years."
"Yeah right."
"Fine. Don't believe me."
"Doing what?"
"Yeah, doing what?" one of the hookers asked.
"Pimping whores for Capone."
"We eating these shrooms big guy?"
"Do asian hookers love blow?"
The next afternoon they tried to lure us back to the tables but Corky said, "Your Dad is gonna die without a kidney transplant."
"You know about that too?"
"Come on. We gotta bring this casheesh to the hospital."
A few hours later we were in one of the last yellow cabs sporting an actual flesh and blood driver cruising down Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn.
"This is yours if you blow every red light to Coney Island Hospital," Corky said waving ten Benjis in front of the driver's face.
The driver snatched the carrot and put the pedal to the metal.
"You better buckle up bro," Corky said buckling his safety belt.
I followed suit and ten seconds later our driver hit an Uber car head on. The sound of crunching metal and shattered glass was punctuated with the decapitated head of BettyJo Lemongello landing in my lap.
"BettyJo?!?!?!"
Corky got on his smart phone and said, "Throw that shit out the window."
...
"The transplant was successful, Mr. Schreiber. Your father is going to pull through."
"Thank you Doctor."
I looked at Corky. He half-smiled.
"What?"
"We got a couple of stops left."
"Huh? Where?"
"Just follow me."
Two hours later with a hundred grand in uncut diamonds we were standing in front of our old apartment building on Union Street.
"Look familiar?"
"Dude. This is so fucked up."
"Whatever little man."
Corky took a flashlight out of his MC jacket and we went back into the building we ran wild in so many years ago. Corky rang every apartment bell until somebody buzzed us in. A few minutes later we were back in the nether regions of the basement.
"Push me Izzy."
"Why?"
"Cause its time we went back to the speakeasy."
I pushed. And then Corky was gone. Vanished into thin air. I screamed his name.
"Corky?!?!?"
"You gotta check this shit out!!!!"
"Where are you?!?!?!"
And then just like that Corky was back.
"It's a fucking hidden door!"
"Dude. You're young again."
Corky's big arm gave a yank and then we were back in the speakeasy. It was just the way we left it in 1985.
"Say, 'wake me up before you go-go.'"
"What?"
And then Corky's big fist punched me in the face and I remembered no more. Eventually I came to.
"Daddy. Wake up. You said we'd go to watch the ball drop at Times Square."
"Yes, honey. You promised the kids."
"Michelle! Is that you?"
"Who else would it be?"
"Daddy. Is it really a new millennium?"
"Yes honey," Michelle said soothing the little girl's hair that was the same color as mind. "Today is the last day of the 20th century."
I reached in my pocket and found a handful of uncut diamonds.
I hadn't seen Michelle since she caught me in bed senior year with her best friend Carmella and told me she'd never speak to me again. I had missed her ever since.
I looked around surveying the scene. I appeared to be in a swanky penthouse apartment. I found a mirror and took a reluctant peak from between two fingers. It appeared I was 33 again. Hmmm.
"I don't believe this shit, Michelle."
"Yeah, I know. How crazy is the end of the Twentieth Century?"
The doorbell rang. Michelle kissed me.
A voice I had last heard 27 years ahead said, "Who's ready to party like it's 1999?"
I turned my head to see a not so gentle giant dressed to the nines in tux and tails.
"Corky?!?!?!"
"You were maybe expecting BettyJo Lemongello?"
I grabbed Michelle by the hand and began pulling her towards a big bedroom I spied at the end of an even bigger marble hallway.
"Yo! Where you going bro? It's New Year's Eve."
"I just remembered. I haven't had my pipes cleaned since 2011."